3-25-24
For those of you that have not followed me on my journey, I have always felt a strong connection to Esther. Many years ago, God called me to be like her, and ever since then, He has caused symbolism surrounding our similarities to saturate my life, especially over the last two months as due to the leap year, we have had two Jewish months of Adar and with that actually two Purim’s, Purim being the feast that celebrates God’s deliverance and great reversal towards His people through her act of obedience. God’s symbolism in my life over the years has been a lot of fun, and although there is a lot, I will just share 3 examples with you. First, in a recent play on Esther currently at the Sight and Sound Theatre, they constantly refer to Esther as a “Flowering Star” based on her first name Hadassah and new name Esther. For Hadassah stands for a flowering tree, a hadas (Hebrew word), or myrtle tree and Esther means “Star.” Years ago, God inspired me to form a sentence combining my grandmother’s first and middle name, my mom’s first and middle name, and my first and middle name – 3 generations. When I looked up the meaning of each of these names it ended up forming a sentence that read: Flowering Star to be born on Christmas named Lily Star. My first name means “Lily” and my middle name means “Star” and I was born during Christmastime. God revealed this sentence many years ago, so when I went to see the Esther play for the first-time last year, you can imagine how my ears and spirit perked up. Second, and I throw this in here just because it testifies to how fun God can be, the street name on which I currently live is called “Benjamin.” Esther was from the tribe of Benjamin.
Third, Happy Susan Purim! Today is Susan Purim (Shushan Purim). To continue to add to all of the symbolism, God has recently revealed to me that the city where Esther lived out her calling to shine was actually “Susan.”
Susa was a principal city of the Elamite, Achaemenid Persian, and Parthian empires and was originally known to the Elamites as “Susan.” In the Hebrew language it was Shushan. Again, God is fun. All these years later, God revealed to me that Esther literally lived in Susan.
Esther lives in Susan. What does this mean? It means that the spirit of Esther, or really, that call of God to shine His light forth, lives in me. It lives in all of us. God simply loves to use my life, my testimony, as He did hers, to reveal His everlasting, from generation to generation, truth – that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and therefore His calling on our lives remains the same. God has written into my testimony countless stories calling me, and thus you, to shine like a Star, revealing to me that we are all, like Esther, meant to shine through our God-given stories. The story of Esther is one of our greatest examples of a testimony, or at least of the power behind a testimony (Revelation 12:11), for since it is the only book in the Bible that does not mention God or Jesus by name, Esther becomes the Star of the story. But, through her story and how the events of her life were orchestrated, we still see God. Shining through her testimony is God’s mighty power and hand at work in undeniable ways. This is what God longs to do through all of our stories, our testimonies. He desires to shine brightly through our lives so that our lives will impact this world and save those that are lost just like the people of her day. Her story speaks of a great reversal, a reversal away from doom and gloom towards a great story of renewal and revival, and I believe that history is about to repeat itself. Why do I believe this? Because of the power and orchestration behind my own story for a time such as this.
Inspired by God, on the 14th of March, I headed on a road trip by myself once again to see the Esther play at the Sight and Sound Theatre. On my way, I ended up spending the night at a friend’s house who lives in a city called Webb City. On my way there, I couldn’t stop thinking about the symbolism of this name, knowing God has a reason for it. This time, in particular, I couldn’t stop thinking about how it wasn’t by accident that I was to stop first in Webb City before going on to see Esther. For, right after God called me to be like Esther many years ago, He ended up giving me a vision called His Wonderful Web of Wonder. It is a vision of His Stars aligned, covered by the Blood of the Lamb, testifying to the Lord Jesus Christ – shining out the Word of their testimony together. This vision is essentially Revelation 12:11. With this thought, as I entered the city, I heard, “It’s time to build My web Susan.” Amen!
Once I arrived, literally about 15 minutes into talking with my friend, we noticed a huge storm was on its way, with predicted large hail and even a tornado. We both briefly looked at radars on our phones and it didn’t look good. So, I began to pray that this storm would shift and pass us by, especially since I was in a rental car and I worried about it getting hail damage. Eventually, the storm did veer south of us and we barely got even a few sprinkles. It was actually kind of strange how little rain we got. Praise the Lord!
The next day, I finished my drive to the next city to see the play. In preparation for my road trip, I had downloaded some new music since I wanted to engage in a lot of worship and prayer on my drives. There was one song in particular that really moved my spirit, especially during this final leg into my destination. It is called “Count ‘Em” by Brandon Lake. Wow, I love that song. At one point, truly worshipping in the Spirit to this song yet again, I felt strongly in my heart and on my mind the words “A new day is coming.” I felt this so strong that I felt I needed to shout in on Facebook, etc. I didn’t since I was driving, and maybe I quenched the Spirit by not doing so, but I am shouting it how: A NEW DAY IS COMING!
After this, I knew in my soul that this drive I was taking, as I entered in to see Esther one more time, was me entering into something big – a big calling, not just for me, but for us all! For, while I was also led during this season to look up the meaning of my name, I also saw that besides “Lily,” that it also means “White,” “Pure,” and “Joy.” God’s call for me has always been to get His Bride ready, to encourage us all in the knowledge that like Esther, we need our beauty treatment season before our True King arrives. In fact, God’s word for me this year, given to me at the beginning is “Season of Great Joy.” He has slowly been unveiling that this means that it is time to enter in. It is time for all of us to truly enter in, to become the Stars (or to become the Bride) that He deserves and that He created us to be. He created all of us to shine His light through our God-given gifts and talents. He longs for us to truly get to work testifying by any means possible. In the Song of Songs, the king fell in love with his lady because he saw that she was hard at work in his vineyard. It is time we do the same. Though covered by the Blood of Jesus, it is still time to get to work. It is still time to remember that faith without works is dead. What a true season of great joy this will be if God’s people get this truth. It truly will be a great reversal, a reversal, or revival, for this downtrodden, depressed, and burdened state that the Bride of Christ is in right now. A state of mind that is causing most to simply want Christ to come back now, a thought process that is actually condemning countless people to hell! Shake off Satan’s deception and web of lies and live for God’s Web of Wonder instead. For us, united, doing what God created us to do, like Esther, WILL SAVE, for a time such as this. It’s time!! Wake up!
On the 19th of March, I asked God how He wanted me to use my day, and He laid it on my heart to start cleaning out my husband’s studio, something I was not expecting. Just so that you appreciate the symbolism however, God created Joe to testify through his artistic abilities. But life, time, and clutter, has gotten in the way. So, instead of use this studio for Joe’s true calling, it has become cluttered with our stuff. We have used this room for storage. But, like God said, “A new day is coming,” for I also prayed a lot for my husband and his calling on those drives as well, and God heard me, so I guess I shouldn’t have been so surprised.
So, I did clean it a little bit, although there is still a lot to do, most of which Joe will have to do, but again, I obeyed because I knew that it was important to take the first step. In the process, I came across a big box that housed a beautiful star ceiling light that used to hang in my old house. I then thought once again about asking Joe’s dad to help me finally hang it. It had been stored in that big box for far too long, and not only that, but by hanging it and getting rid of the box, I knew that it would free up space in the studio.
That night, I went to a Bible study at my church where we watched a video series on the issue of control, mainly about the illusion of control. I didn’t seem to get much out of the study, at least that which was intended, but God did reveal something else through it to me. He used it to show me how I have finally reached a place of true relinquishment, of relinquishing control. It has only taken about 17 years. I knew this didn’t mean that I wouldn’t ever struggle with this again but overall, right now in my life, I can’t think of anything that I am really trying to control. In fact, I have reached a place where I know I don’t have control over anything: Joe’s job, this house, our finances, my calling and open doors, etc. I made it. 17 years of God stripping me of control and I am now in a place where I don’t have control and am okay with that. I literally am at blank page right now waiting on God to move and fill it His way. It is a freeing place to be, mostly because it is a place where God shows up and begins to write an amazing story. (I encourage you to read my blog entitled “Cursor in the Sky” for more on this topic.)
In the last video we watched, the woman ended up sharing her testimony about how she and her husband had started a church and was going to have a practice service outside when a bad storm started to head their way. She talked about how she looked at the weather radar nonstop as if by doing so she could control the weather and what was happening. Eventually through prayer the storm passed them by and they simply got rainfall. As you can imagine, my ears perked up, having literally just experienced the exact same scenario the weekend before, and so I ended up sharing my story with the group. But there is one part of the story that I didn’t mention yet. When I went to return my rental car, the man that received my car was determined to show me a car that had also just been returned that had major hail damage. With that, I knew deep down that this was God’s way of showing me what He had done for me, that He had answered my prayers and had protected me and my car from that storm. That night I even came across a video that showed cars that didn’t escape that same storm. They had multiple huge holes in their windows from the hail. Thank You Lord. You are in control. You are the God that can cause great reversals, protecting Your people from any storm!
After I got home and we were putting our daughter to bed, feeling that the upstairs was hot, I went to turn on our air conditioning and as I did, the lights all over the house began to flicker. I turned it off although my daughter still went to bed fearing that her sound machine would stop working. Sure enough, about 30 minutes into falling asleep myself, I was awoken by my own sound machine turning back on, which meant that the electricity had gone out. I went downstairs to find that Joe had messed with the breaker box and tried all sorts of things only to find out that something was wrong with our electricity. It was very strange, for a few outlets still worked but most everything didn’t, and the only ceiling light that worked in the whole house was the light in my bedroom/office. The outlets also still worked in there and so we managed to get out all of our extension cords and bring them from my room into our daughter’s room so that her sound machine would work again, since nothing worked in her room. I also managed to find an outlet to help our refrigerator work. The outlets to our computer and our internet also still worked. I know it was a God thing and also humorous that everything we needed to get us through the night worked. Both my daughter and I were able to sleep with our sound machines going and what came to my mind was FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION – my power, my sound, fueled hers so that she could rest secure.
Before I went back to bed, Joe even ended up pointing out that there was light coming from where that I spend time with the Lord, where most of my testimony is formed, for my bedroom/office is where I have my quiet times and write my testimony. For like I mentioned, my ceiling light is the only one that would turn on. With his comment, I did begin to think about how maybe God would use all of this to show me that my light is meant to shine in the darkness. I did go to bed nervous however about having to deal with all of this on my own the next day since Joe had to go to work early in the morning, and of course I was mostly afraid of the possible big expense that we could not afford.
The next morning, March 20th, the first day of Spring, we got around okay although I really wanted Joe to stay home and help in my anxiety but he wasn’t able to. However, Joe had asked his dad to come over to look at our situation. So, knowing that there wasn’t anything I could do until he showed up, I went up to my bedroom/office having managed to make coffee, to spent time with Jesus. I had felt through my prayers all morning that God kept telling me that He would take care of my situation, even telling me like He has before, that I wouldn’t have to spend any of my own money. Well, after finishing a devotional that talked about putting our trust in the Lord and then finishing the Book of John, I ended up hearing a knock at the door. It was a man from our local energy company. He asked me if I had a power outage. Apparently, our smart meters let them know when we are having problems. I told him what was happening and he then went to look at our meter. He mentioned that our wire connected to the house needed to be replaced and was going to do that, but then after taking off the meter, he mentioned that the wiring behind the meter was where our problem was at. He then stated that some parts needed to be replaced. He also mentioned that this box on the house behind the meter was our responsibility and expense. I then asked him how much something like that would cost to fix and he wasn’t willing to answer at first but then he said depending on the problem that it could be a couple thousand dollars. Then, however, pointing to a box in the middle, he told me that he may have that part in his car to which I then began praying fervently that he would and that he would fix it at no charge.
I then called my father-in-law to tell him what was happening and that he didn’t need to come over until they were at least done, but he chose to come over anyway. While in my house, I told him how I had thought the day before about asking him to come today to help me put up my star ceiling light and how I thought it was funny that he was here anyway for electrical issues even though I hadn’t even mentioned my light. So, already being with me, he then helped me put the light up in my room. And in the midst of doing so, all of the electricity in my house suddenly came back on. I then rushed outside to find that they were done replacing our powerline and that the man had indeed found a part in his truck and had fixed the box on my house on his own. I asked him if anything else needed to be done and he said that it was all fixed and that nothing more was needed. God took care of the problem and I didn’t have to spend any of my own money. Praise God!
After it was all over and my father-in-law left, I asked God what He wanted me to learn from all of this, although I already knew what it meant deep in my soul. He said, “Susan, it’s time to let your light shine.”
WHILE MY BRIDEGROOM’S FATHER HELPED ME WITH MY STAR LIGHT, ALL THE POWER TURNED BACK ON – HE GAVE US A GREAT REVERSAL.
On the first day of Spring, God said, “It’s time to let your light shine.” Time for my real New Spring. (I encourage you to read the blog, “Everything Lost Can Be Found; Everything Old Can Be Made New.”)
The next day, the 21st of March, I grabbed the t-shirt that was on top and saw that it was a new version of an older t-shirt I had that says, “All God’s promises are Yes and Amen.” At the time, I had accidentally ordered two and had recently decided to throw the old one away since it was worn and to start wearing the second one, the new one. As I grabbed it, I felt in my soul that it was appropriate for the day. So, I began during my quiet time to pray for God’s Amen based on a video I had seen when I first woke up. The video talked about the parallels between Joseph’s story and Esther’s story which of course caught my attention. This video revealed how both stories point to a great reversal that saved.
I then also came across another video talking about the eclipse on April 8th, another video that once again ended by telling people to repent because the end is near. I then spent my time praying for the Lord to help with this deception, for these videos are getting old. Please note that I am not claiming that Christ isn’t coming soon and that we don’t need to repent. This is not where the deception lies. The deception lies in the fear element that these videos and messages blast forth. It lies in the defeatist attitude that Christians have today. In the attitude that portrays that people want Christ to come back now because things are just so bad and dark that they feel hopeless and powerless. Hmmmm sounds familiar. I was just feeling hopeless and literally powerless myself. But what did God say to me? He didn’t tell me to hunker down and pray for daylight, for instant relief outside of myself. Instead, He told me that it was time to let MY light shine. My light. YOUR light. OUR light. He proclaimed that because of the darkness, that it is time to let OUR light shine. We have work to do, more work than simply being afraid.
God has so much more in store for His story than simply coming back now to a people unworthy and in desperation. Yes, He wants to come back to save us and to free us but God would get more glory coming back to a people that truly have embraced the Blood of the Lamb and all that they truly can be in the power of God, shining for Him, then the way we are now. For, I’m sorry if this offends you, but we are ugly right now. As God has pointed out through my testimony, through various orchestrated weddings I have photographed, His Bride is drunk, in despair, and has displaced joy. We are in desperate need of a beauty treatment season like Esther, and even though Christ may be coming soon, I believe this is going to happen first. I believe God’s ending will include another great reversal, for God’s people always have had one, and always will. God has always brought a great reversal to His people, to those unworthy because that is who He is. He is Love and He is glory. Every time His people turned away from Him, even though there were consequences and judgment, famines or exile, they were always followed by grace and redemption, revival and a new day. Why are we so quick to cut God’s story short this time and expect Him to come back before He reveals His completeness once again? Like God said to me, as I drove in to see the Esther play, a new day is coming. I am certain Esther, after learning about Haman’s decree to kill all her people felt hopeless and engulfed in darkness, but we know the end of that story. We know that there was a great, God-orchestrated reversal!
During the play, Haman’s wife, after seeing that the tides were starting to turn on her husband, sang about how the evil web that she and her husband had spun to get to where they were was unraveling. All I could think about in that moment was how Satan’s web of lies is going to unravel again. It’s time for God’s Wonderful Web of Wonder to take its place!!! It’s time for God’s AMEN season, to bring about the Amen to His Promises, to His Yes, His way, not ours. And He chooses to use us. He doesn’t need us, but wants to include us! Amen!
The world may continue to get darker. We may even experience God’s judgement for a season, but with God’s help and mercy, we will still get brighter. We will shine unified, covered in the Blood of the Lamb, testifying to the Lord Jesus Christ through our God-given gifts and talents FOR A TIME SUCH AS THIS. We will become God’s great reversal to all Satan has done.
On that note, four of my family members went to see Esther at the Sight and Sound Theatre the following day, March 22nd. My mom and aunt went to see the afternoon show, and my brother and sister-in-law saw the evening show.
The following day, March 23rd, the beginning of Purim, I received a text message from my aunt. It read, “When Mordecai was being paraded by Hamen, did the horse take a dump on the stage?” I said no. She then text back, “In both our productions, the horse pooped middle stage in the same scene. We wondered if it was ‘staged’.”
It wasn’t staged, for I’ve seen this play 3 times now and that had never happened. Or maybe it was staged, but by God. For, what instantly come to my mind and what I texted her back was, “Double poop action. God pooped on Satan’s plot once and He is going to do it again!” It is just another way to describe God’s great reversal. Don’t think God doesn’t have a sense of humor.
That night, I ended up watching another video to the song “Shine Jesus Shine,” and I know this was the Lord. For this used to be my favorite song, my theme song, but I had forgotten about it. Yes Lord Jesus. Shine Jesus shine. Fill this land with the Father’s glory. Blaze spirit blaze. Set our hearts on fire . . .
Yesterday, March 24th, I went to church for Palm Sunday wearing my Esther verse t-shirt since it was also Purim. Once there, God spoke. He said:
I love you Susan, write these words down:
Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. Behold He comes, riding on the clouds. He is coming soon. Prepare My people Susan. Shine for them My Star. Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. ESTHER your season HAS come. It is here. BELIEVE. Believe with all your might. I will not fail you for My faithfulness WILL abound. The heavens rejoice in this season, for the season, this season of great joy. Rejoice. Rejoice. REJOICE and believe. Rejoice and believe. . . Satan WILL be crushed, defeated once again, not only through the Blood of Jesus but by the Word of your testimony, through the testimony of ALL My people - All in preparation for Christ’s final entry on that mighty, white horse. Behold the Lamb. Behold the Lamb of God. He comes. HE COMES. HE COMES. He is coming soon. HE IS COMING SOON. Rejoice. Rejoice. Rejoice.
Happy Purim Susan. . . Shine with all your might - FOR ME. I SEE YOU. I SEE YOU, My Star. I SEE YOU. So, shine. Shine. Shine. Shine. SHINE. Go forth and shine.
When worship began, I stood up and waved my palm branch high, even though no one else did. And as I did, I envisioned myself laying the crown Jesus gave me in a previous vision, at His feet. My friends, it’s not by accident that during this year of Esther that Purim and Palm Sunday were on the same day. For, when we begin to enter into the call to be like Esther, to shine like Stars, Christ will in fact return. He will have, as God said, another glorious entry. This time one a white horse, riding on the clouds. Oh, what a day!!! Which is why God longs to get His Bride truly ready!
3-25-24
Well, like I said, today is Shushan Purim (Susan Purim). There is also supposed to be the first of 4 eclipses tonight that match the ones the year Esther was crowned. There will be two lunar and two solar. Tonight is the first lunar eclipse. This truly is the year of Esther. The season of Esther HAS come. Our season of great joy and PURPOSE!
This morning, the first song to come on the radio when I started out to take my daughter to school, was called “Crowns” and it sang about placing our crowns at Christ’s feet. While listening, I physically acted this out, remembering the vision of me doing this yesterday in church.
Then, as I drove away from her school, I gained a desire to go to a coffee shop in order to honor this special day, since coffee is something special, I share with Jesus. Even though I haven’t done this in a long time, I asked God which one He wanted me to go to. He wanted me to go to the one where His Wonderful Web of Wonder vision began which wasn’t close to where I was but I obeyed. While passing a cemetery on the way, I began to pray that God would help me with the dash in my years, knowing that it’s not the length of my years but the life in my years! Then having worshiped to some more wonderful songs, I decided once again in my heart, to embrace all the unfolding, saturating symbolism and to be who God has called me to be. For, He does long for me to shine like Esther. I have been a Flowering Star as God has helped me over time to come out of my shell as an introvert and testify. It is indeed time to let my light shine. It isn’t about the outcome, or what I think a true ministry should look like, it’s about the obedience, choosing to live as though what I believe is true. No matter if I get a big breakthrough or not, or whether or not my testimony reaches thousands, or even you, I need to choose to live these truths, as do we all. The journey and the symbolism have been fun but more than think about the breakthrough they may be leading me to, I need to embrace the actual undeniable call to testify by any means possible and to encourage you to do the same. It is time to truly enter in to a season of great joy. It is all about belief!
These words above were my exact thoughts on the way to that coffee shop. As I then got off the highway with this deep longing to choose belief in my calling and to not worry about the increase or outcome, I then turned the radio channel to instantly hear, “You were made for a time such as this, so stop clock watching and seize your time.” I couldn’t have chosen better words to sum up this whole message. Let’s stop clock watching and seize our time, our calling!
I had already decided that after I got my coffee, that I was going to come home and have my quiet time and then write a blog under my renewed star light and testify. In my obedience, I hope that you will be inspired by my life and testimony, the way that Esther has inspired me, and that you in turn will inspire others. For, this is what will form that Wonderful Web of Wonder, that great reversal. It is not only to be passed from me to you, and then you to others, but to future generations. From generation to generation may our light and our voice be that true sound machine that brings the voice of the next generation to life and Light that they may rest secure in any storm!
Happy Susan Purim!
Happy (insert name here) Purim!
We are ALL God’s Stars. It’s time to SHINE! Join me!